May 29, 2009
May 26, 2009
May 23, 2009
I'm on my third straight week of beard growth. My mustache feels like stringy fur and the sideburns are kind of thin but I plan to grow it out for another week or two before I do any trimming. The photo to your left is mostly for entertainment but if you have a suggestion for which beard I should choose, feel free to let me know. I'm leaning towards the full beard.I'm at camp and have terribly limited internet access. I might not do a lot of posting over the summer. Maybe not much at all until I get to Seattle. We shall see.
Since camp hasn't started, my days are full of reading. That is pretty much it unless you count walking to the kitchen to eat. Thursday and Friday I picked up some work weed eating around camp. I also tried to help build a boardwalk to the archery course. It didn't go well and I ended up having to tear my work down with a crowbar. Someone more experienced in building things can take over.
Since it is Saturday the camp is basically deserted. Dan, the only person I know in the whole state of Ohio, is at a wedding and wont be back until tomorrow and I am in the kitchen with a "loaner" laptop. All I have planned for the rest of the day is exercise and reading.
A cool design website to check out from a Christian, Chuck Anderson.
A shove in the right direction.
Terminator: Salvation is in theaters and I am drooling.
Since I have nothing to do but read, I am on book 7 of the Wheel of Time series. 15th or 16th book so far this year.
For all questions related to beards
I don't even know what to say about this so I'll post the link and let you see for yourself.
Jesse Ventura vs. Dick Cheney
Later ya'll.
May 11, 2009
May 9, 2009
Excerpts from Song of the Open Road
AFOOT and light-hearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose.
Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune,
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms,
Strong and content I travel the open road.
The earth, that is sufficient,
I do not want the constellations any nearer,
I know they are very well where they are,
I know they suffice for those who belong to them.
(Still here I carry my old delicious burdens,
I carry them, men and women, I carry them with me wherever
I go,
I swear it is impossible for me to get rid of them,
I am fill'd with them, and I will fill them in return.)
......
You air that serves me with breath to speak!
You objects that call from diffusion my meanings and give them
shape!
You light that wraps me and all things in delicate equable showers!
You paths worn in the irregular hollows by the roadsides!
I believe you are latent with unseen existences, you are so dear to
me.
.......
The earth expanding right hand and left hand,
The picture alive, every part in its best light,
The music falling in where it is wanted, and stopping where it is
not wanted,
The cheerful voice of the public road, the gay fresh sentiment of
the road.
O highway I travel, do you say to me Do not leave me?
Do you say Venture not-if you leave me you are lost?
Do you say I am already prepared, I am well-beaten and undenied,
adhere to me?
O public road, I say back I am not afraid to leave you, yet I love
you,
You express me better than I can express myself,
You shall be more to me than my poem.
I think heroic deeds were all conceiv'd in the open air, and all
free poems also,
I think I could stop here myself and do miracles,
I think whatever I shall meet on the road I shall like, and whoever
beholds me shall like me,
I think whoever I see must be happy.
From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master total and absolute,
Listening to others, considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that
would hold me.
I inhale great draughts of space,
The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are
mine.
I am larger, better than I thought,
I did not know I held so much goodness.
All seems beautiful to me,
can repeat over to men and women You have done such good to me
I would do the same to you,
I will recruit for myself and you as I go,
I will scatter myself among men and women as I go,
I will toss a new gladness and roughness among them,
Whoever denies me it shall not trouble me,
Whoever accepts me he or she shall be blessed and shall bless me.
.......
Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,
It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth.
.......
Now I re-examine philosophies and religions,
They may prove well in lecture-rooms, yet not prove at all under the
spacious clouds and along the landscape and flowing currents.
Here is realization,
Here is a man tallied-he realizes here what he has in him,
The past, the future, majesty, love-if they are vacant of you, you
are vacant of them.
Only the kernel of every object nourishes;
Where is he who tears off the husks for you and me?
Where is he that undoes stratagems and envelopes for you and me?
.......
Allons! whoever you are come travel with me!
Traveling with me you find what never tires.
The earth never tires,
The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first, Nature is rude
and incomprehensible at first,
Be not discouraged, keep on, there are divine things well envelop'd,
I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can
tell.
.......
To know the universe itself as a road, as many roads, as roads for
traveling souls.
All parts away for the progress of souls,
All religion, all solid things, arts, governments-all that was or is
apparent upon this globe or any globe, falls into niches and
corners before the procession of souls along the grand roads
of the universe.
Of the progress of the souls of men and women along the grand roads
of the universe, all other progress is the needed emblem and
sustenance.
Forever alive, forever forward,
Stately, solemn, sad, withdrawn, baffled, mad, turbulent, feeble,
dissatisfied,
Desperate, proud, fond, sick, accepted by men, rejected by men,
They go! they go! I know that they go, but I know not where they go,
But I know that they go toward the best - toward something great.
Whoever you are, come forth! or man or woman come forth!
You must not stay sleeping and dallying there in the house, though
you built it, or though it has been built for you.
Out of the dark confinement! out from behind the screen!
It is useless to protest, I know all and expose it
.......
Allons! through struggles and wars!
The goal that was named cannot be countermanded.
Have the past struggles succeeded?
What has succeeded? yourself? your nation? Nature?
Now understand me well - it is provided in the essence of things that
from any fruition of success, no matter what, shall come forth
something to make a greater struggle necessary.
My call is the call of battle, I nourish active rebellion,
He going with me must go well arm'd,
He going with me goes often with spare diet, poverty, angry enemies,
desertions.
15
Allons! the road is before us!
It is safe - I have tried it - my own feet have tried it well - be not
detain'd!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the
shelf unopen'd!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn'd!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher!
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the
court, and the judge expound the law.
Comrade, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself. will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
Walt Whitman
May 8, 2009
May 8, 2009
May 6, 2009
My emotions are up and down all day. One moment I feel confident, the next I think of the distance and wonder what it would feel like to come home under the shadow of defeat. Last night I lay in bed hoping I wouldn't be lonely on the trail by myself. I even had a dream where I injured my left knee and kept pushing on anyway.
A couple days ago I sat down in Starbucks and made a list of my goals for this trip:
To be tougher - mentally, physically and spiritually. A lot of college students I know are lazy and apathetic. My generation has been babied with a sense of entitlement. Somehow it has creeped into our minds that we have earned what we have without lifting a finger to work for it. I fear I have this sense of entitlement in me and I want to get rid of it. I want to earn something I've poured my energy and heart into.
Peace. For God to bring rest to my soul.
Hope instead of anger. I've learned that an outlet for my passion doesn't have to be anger. I can learn to hope instead of despair.
To confront loneliness and fear. I have had nights where loneliness was so severe I felt claustrophobic and terrified of dying. I haven't dealt with this in about 9 months but its been a reoccurring problem since I was a kid.
To see life as poetry. Good poetry are works of art, words crafting beauty in the mind. Imagine if I saw life as beautiful and exciting as I see poetry.
May 5, 2009
"Beef and cheddar - the two greatest words on the planet."
Uh, that would be three words guys. Knowledge is power.
May 5, 2009
Saturday, right after I graduate I head to Amicolala Falls State Park. Sunday morning I begin my hike. I float between excitement and anticipation and fear and worry. What if I get on that trail and can't do it? What if I can't do twenty-mile days?
I would probably cry.
But I think I will do well. These fears are like any other before a big event. It's completely normal to worry about things going wrong with something you've poured your heart into.
I think I'll do well and have a great time. There will be challenges: physical exertion, ankles, loneliness, weather, animals, blisters, and a dozen other unforeseen snags. But that is part of the adventure. Not knowing is part of it. Anything else is called a vacation and those are usually at the beach.
I HATE the beach.
By the end of this trip, I will know myself in ways college can't accomplish. There is no classroom for this. A short quote from Whitman's Song of the Open Road says it best:
"Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons, It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth."
Whatever happens on this trip, God is with me and so are the prayers of people who remember me. Walt Whitman, in I Sing the Body Electric says that man "brings every thing to the test of himself...he strikes soundings at last only here." I will strike my soul against God's earth and hear what echoes back. What good, what false. What true, what flawed. What beautiful, what weak. And God will strike the soundings of his soul into my flesh. His echoes will ring in my body and I will hear the call to the character of Christ.
May 3, 2009
I'm exhausted from questions
I'm tired of talk
I miss how I felt when I was a kid
The world, and myself, were accepted
and watched through simple eyes
I wasn't afraid of people
or the future
I wasn't ashamed
I miss innocence and simple thoughts
I didn't wonder about money
or health
or love
or hope
I lived
I wonder, always wondering
Always questioning
will there be war?
will the economy recover?
what will happen to the environment?
will I have a wife and family?
am I a good man?
will I make a difference?
I miss when I didn't have so many questions
Too many, with too few answers,
and hope will falter
left with only anger
like pounding against concrete walls
My amateur attempt at poetry.
Note: I'm not being emo. I hate emo kids. I just think questions can carry a heavy weight at times.
May 1, 2009
I've bought all the food for my trip (it cost a lot) and placed it all into two, one-week piles. I've decided to carry a weeks worth of food in my pack and resupply only once, instead of two or three times to save weight. For that, I am borrowing a bigger backpack from a friend. It's a 4800 cu. in. North Face to replace my 2400 cu. in. Marmot. There was no way all that food was going to fit in my Marmot.
I tested the pack out with all the supplies in there and it's only 27 pounds. Not bad. It felt ridiculously light compared to the 45 pounds I was running up and down stairs with. When I pulled it onto my shoulders I felt a surge of confidence. I'm gonna rock this trail.
I've also finalized my itinerary. I'll arrive at my last shelter, Davenport Gap, on the 22nd. From there it is a 4 mile hike to Waterville, North Carolina where my dad will meet me that Saturday morning. There are a few waterfalls down a side trail I might go see while I'm waiting for him. It's a 4 and a half hour trip so I should be back home late afternoon the 23rd of May, earlier than I expected.
I'll post my itinerary so you can see the daily distance I'll hike and also so if anything happens my parents can check my blog to see where I am at.
Pretty excited...