Monday was the first session of Faith, Hope and Love taught by Dan Allender. My attention was glued to Allender as he spoke. The things he said fall into three categories: wonderful, terrible, and exhausting. He said things I've never heard before. The whole class is about therapy so everything revolved around that. And it sounds like a simple subject but it tore me to pieces. I left with a bowl in my stomach full of all these feelings I couldn't sort through. I almost cried, I almost puked on the bus ride back, and now, 12:30 am Wednesday morning, I'm beginning to sift through it.
I've spent the last few years closing myself off to vulnerability. Except in the case of anger, I've held back. Allender's words stirred it up all over again. I haven't been there in a while and I haven't been there much with other people at all. But now I have classes, a reading group, four other MHGS roommates, and practicum. If I hide, I'll fail at Mars Hill. So I can't hide... But that doesn't mean I know what to do.
dang. think I'd be in your boat. lots of others, too.. It's sort of good, I guess that means you're not on your own.
ReplyDeleteYeah it is. You start next fall, right?
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