April 8, 2009

Apathy!

I'm not going to go to Ballet today. I didn't go Monday and one day last week either. I'm thinking about just not going entirely. The grade doesn't matter, I suck at it, its embarrassing every time I go...but most of all I'm apathetic.

I can see it might be difficult to motivate myself this last month of school.

I lifted yesterday, dragging myself through the exercises. What would usually take an hour took an hour and a half.

Probably a big part of my issues with apathy and motivation are knowing I only have a month left here. That's exciting. So exciting I barely care about the month I have. I have to sit down and force myself to concentrate on assignments, block out all other noises, focus on the words I'm typing...

My coffee intake is up. I was limiting myself for my kidneys but apparently they suck no matter what I drink. I'll see someone at Health Services, but in the meantime, I'm drinking some most everyday. It isn't much and it's only a misto (half steamed milk) but I need it to get through.

Excitement is building for May! But no excitement for today.

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